Nothingess Revisited

I can't say i missed my diary in last 6 months. I have been completely lost in the struggle to survive in my fiercely competitive occupation. And as always, i never like to write half-heartedly.

Now again, as i have nothing specific to say even today, today seems to be perfect to end Nothingness - my last incomplete post.

Thats it.
Thanks for reading. (and thinking over my writing if anyone's going to).

No Pain, No Gain - Shalini

20th February, 2008

me: u win again
Shalini: i do, im winner :)
me: bt u know what for AGAIN?
Shalini: hmm no
me: :D
Shalini: ?
me: i told bout initiating the chat here. i wait for sm time, then give up n u win :)
Shalini: i got it
me: dont mind. so u watched match?
Shalini: yes, i gtg, board meeting soon, i have work
me: bad luck today. hw to pass time nw ? why do they give work to u ?
Shalini: im the only employee
me: its cruelty. u deserve not to work
Shalini: right. i agree, but then life is pointless. one must work n suffer. life is about suffering and finding thru it happiness,
which does not depend on ur suffering n can be understood only by it.
but i would agree not to work...
me: moral? want to suffer or want to work or want to be happy?
is suffering compulsory in work?
or work is compulsory to be happy?
or sufering is necessary to be happy?
Shalini: the last, yes. the others, i dont know
me: i think we should be able to do sm work to contribute smthing to society,
which gives us feel of achievement. Suffering is not required always.
Shalini: to feel happy its needed otherwise one cant differentiate
me: ya, thats true bt it should be natural, we're not supposed to ask for artificial pain?
unless the job itself is that of having pain to make others happy :P
Shalini: im going. cu later
me: papers r flattend by dhoni :)

i lost..

19th February, 2008

Me: hw s the video?
Vishakha: sorry havent seen yet just came
Me: i trust u :)
Vishakha: i just came indeed. today im home bcos of some repairment
Me: repairing it should be. sorry i could nt get u stars
gotta chnge pc, hold on.
Vishakha: actually i've ordered a wall of sliding doors n they have come to install it. our corridor is somewhat big n we have decided to split it in 2 n make the other part like store room

13 minutes later

Me: ur very interested in home making ?
Vishakha: well we got a new home. it didnt have anything, only walls. we got to live here.
bcos there still r almost no cupboard or drawers, only in the kitchen and some in the bedroom, our luggage stays in boxes
n when u live in home that is new and urs u will feel like decorating it n making it pleasing
Me: yeah i do with my room. the situation is quite like my mummy. she s busy in the interior of her renovated home :)
Vishakha: what else to do if she stays at home all the time
Me: not that type, cupboards, new bed , kitchen accessories etc, sm furniture too

6 minutes later

Me: i love u
Vishakha: hmm ru not watching the cricket
Me: hell with it,, 2 wiket s in 5 overs u watching?
i play better than them
Vishakha: cant they win?
im listening rather, video is also going on but im watching rarely
Me: whts the score?
Vishakha: 4/123
Me: 124, malinga to yuvraj 1 run
Vishakha: they can still win
Me: leme see, i like the dhoni n yuvi pair. they look dangerous
u didnt comment on my " i love u " :P
Vishakha: i said hmmm what to say
n i like dhoni, his appearance, he is good looking n amazingly there was some photo of him as younger, he looked most ugly
Me: so moral of the story??
success makes man sexy :P i guess
u say
Vishakha: no, there is big change in his appearance. he was too skinny n his face was all in scars.
now he has good body, face is smooth. i think it must come from the gained weight cos it added shape to his face.
huh i speak like some beautician
Me: i think long hair was great, maybe he removed it to look mature as captain :)
Vishakha: or for some change
Me: that too,, maybe her gf didnt like it :D
*not her his.
Vishakha: who is she
Me: i dont like dhoni, u shud know :)
Vishakha: alright its up to u
Me: what? i didnt get at all
Vishakha: its up to u to choose whom to like or not
Me: u ve read godfather?

3 minutes later

u r so hot.. guess u went out to have cool air :P
Vishakha: oh yes sure
no, reading some forums. i have seen godfather, movie is terrific.
Me: i liked the novel, there's a character who is very good singer in Hollywood bt he loses his voice suddenly due to little throat cancer, her wife likes it so much that nw young girls mad bout his voice will stop bothering :P
similar logic for dhoni's hair :)
Vishakha: i see.
i gtg now have some work, india will win
Me: u liked my logic?
i bet Sri Lanka wins. lagi bet?

bout 2 hours later, offline reply

Vishakha: u lost

no friends.

12th February, 2008

Me: hi from net now :)
Sheetal: hi
Me: watching ur skiing pics
Sheetal: k
Me: u got my mails?
Sheetal: i did i suppose
Me: n sms?
Sheetal: that too. as usual my husband was with me when i saw it
Me: so he knows bout me?
Sheetal: he has seen ur name thats it
Me: n hw he reacted ?
Sheetal: nothing at all, dont know what he is thinking
please don send any more, ur allowed to send for holidays but not daily like this
Me: u urself said one day that no one sees ur mobile
Sheetal: if im with him in bed, he does
Me: thats why i asked bfore, i know indian husbands :)
Sheetal: he is not typical one but its not nice.
even if he was european. he would not feel good
Me: what i sent today?
Sheetal: something that ended with good morning
Me: so wasnt impressive, u dont remember :(
Sheetal: i had just woke up, must hav been 7:30
Me: so sms was too early for u?
Sheetal: its 11:40 here
not early, it was another thing. but lets leave this. plz treat me as married, im not here to satisfy needs of desperate ppl in their imagination

about one hour later

Me: so u r angry? sorry i was busy so stopped replying
Sheetal: no
Me: i read nw, u mean no flirting etc :P
Sheetal: we can also stop talking
Me: why?
Sheetal: lately i dont like it. u send sms thou i had forbidden, remember?
also u try to flirt n get in fields which r not ur business
Me: in short its over btwn us u mean?
i ve no interest to talk sm1 who doesnt like me.
Sheetal: so how many people to do u talk to :)
Me: there r 1or 2 girls bt not as much as with u
Sheetal: what about guys
Me: no. man looks for what he doesnt have. i ve real friends for guys, no chat required.
Sheetal: good. so u have many friends. it means ur not that bad
Me: i m. for u at least. n they r colleagues not friends
Sheetal: so, u dont have real friends
Me: ya really. a king has no friends, its like that.
not exactly maybe.
Sheetal: huh !!!
Me: hah its not funny,
Sheetal: who is laughing im rather amazed ur majesty
its actually what men think, i've learnt to adjust to this with my husband.
men need to be praised and put on high place
Me: i dont lke praise bt i hate disrespect.
Sheetal: people have diff definitions of disrespect
i might say ur being very disrespectful tome all the time :)
why have u been so, if u hate it urself or, of course, that was not disrespect - in ur case
Me: i dont think i did so. one day u tell me bout variety of condoms n the other day u feel bad for talking sex, hw to deal it?
Sheetal: thats not it. i can talk, if its to solve some prob of the person, if i can help, in the proper sense, if i can tell him something which i think he needs to know. but i cannot do cyber or help him imagine sexy stuff. i talk abt the 1st things with a few ppl at least. n i also learn n i teach them n we help each other
Me: it hurts most when girl dont like u
Sheetal: yeah its a blow on ur esteem, on being a man
Me: i cant press u to chat though, useless if u dont wish to
Sheetal: i hate to be pressed. dont worry im not yet going to stop talking to u, unless u dont want

6 minutes later

Me: so office over. see u later

Interpretation of Dreams

So as i don't feel comfortable with the name Chitra, She is Sheetal from now on.

31st January, 2008

Me: hi sheetal
Sheetal: hi paresh
Me: u got my mail last night?
Sheetal: which 1
Me: i m resending. got it? nothing special
Sheetal: yes
Me: so? u were busy?
Sheetal: yes i am these days bcos of this event cos everything is on me to do. the bosses just give ideas n one of them works too. but i have to do most. now im preparing the sponsorship packages. i got to make some invoices but have left it for later. have to get proper offers for lunches, for hotel rooms, for a one-day trip to some towns budget have to prepare all n serve it ready in front of bosses n they will just decide which one to choose

7 minutes later

Me: what hapend with Venera?
Sheetal: how do i know

6 minutes later

Me: hello sexy :P
Sheetal: what
Me: u look hot today.'

5 minutes later

Sheetal: can u see
Me: dreams unlimited :)
Sheetal: oh yes

6 minutes later

Sheetal: so which girl u will celebrate with on 14th
Me: only u, in dreams that too :(
Sheetal: what have u stuck at me? better live in reality n put ur efforts in girls there
Me: i m a man now n cant go for girls :)
Sheetal: u understand what i mean
Me: i m not getting ur lines in btwn
so what u said bout venera?
Sheetal: i said, how do i know?
Me: bt u r not in her list now
btw last valentine's day i broke my mobile :D
Sheetal: i didnt get that she added me. she never did i think
Me: yeah, i found her in ur list :P
what u do on 14th? now ur married :)
Sheetal: we buy each other chocolates and gifts, have sex, eat special food at home or outside, send cards thru email
Me: do u eat chocolates from each other's mouth :P
i mean eating simply isnt that special :D
Sheetal: no
Me: why? ok bt where's romance in all that u said :)
Sheetal: we r very much romantic. 2 nights ago i had dream he asked me for divorce. i looked up in dream interpreting books, it means happy married life
Me: its good to be romantic after marriage :)
Sheetal: its compulsory
Me: compulsory :D
so u have to LOL
Sheetal: im going 4 lunch
Me: Have a Chocolate from me :)

About an hour later

Me: so u ate chocolate ?
Sheetal: i keep eating since morning
Me: ya, so much workload, u need energy. i didnt have lunch, my throat is paining due to tonsils
Sheetal: cold?
Me: ya, i always get tonsils with cold. i went to play cricket last satrdy, wearing t shirt n it was a chilled day
Sheetal: try to have ur tea hot. make it reach hot ur tonsils.
Me: m having 5 to 6 cups since last 2 days
Sheetal: well since there is nothing else to drink.
btw here 14th feb is day of wine-makers, and we drink wine
Me: u mean alcohol, na?
Sheetal: so we combine it with valentine
Me: whisky gives good relief? we ve prohibition in our state :)
Sheetal: wine does
Me: its costly n to get illegally makes it costlier n it is bad habit too
positive thing is i smoke very less due to cold
just 2 till now today
Sheetal: this is less?
Me: considering i reached to 8 last week. maybe 10 on Sunday
have u seen Chashme badoor ?
Sheetal: no...
Me: i ll tell u the story. its bout 3 friends sharing a rented home
Sheetal: i think u like to consider urself bad, n do such stuff, smoke a lot, throw things, kind of a rebel, isnt it
Me: yeah, i want to be rebel. u guessed it right :D
last valentine day i broke my mobile, u know
Sheetal: why, u asked a girl out and she abused u? :)
Me: she's nothing to do. i ve not talked her since 4 months n will never, i swear
i know love hurts bt i asked her as a friend to know each other more n to meet in a diff place than office
Sheetal: so it was true what i said
Me: what? so it was true
i mean if we meet for sm months or so, like each other, have feelings for each other than it may hurt. n the rebel thing will come. bt here nothing has happened :)
its NO ENTRY from the very start n it is with me since i got young so thats what makes me Rebel.
abused Me? thats right, i m hurt hard bt not so much to change my course of life :)
Sheetal: well u can try to be more considerate, try to know what words of urs will get what reaction and u will be able to predict the reaction to a great extent.
but rejects can happen to anyone.
Me: ya bt why shoud she complain to 10 ppl
Sheetal: personally i hated rejections, thats why i never started any initiative for a relation
Me: for a simple message?
Sheetal: well there can be many reasons
Me: ok for girls not to initiate :) here its compulsory btw.
a girl just can never initiate.
Sheetal: yes thats true so u have to adjust. try to see what can u expect from a girl
Me: i hate her so much i want transfer from dept. bt bosses wont allow :)
Sheetal: just pretend she is not there
Me: thats what i do
Sheetal: if she doesnt hate u, but simply overreacted, she will be impressed
Me: bt my experience since
Sheetal: bcos no girl likes to be ignored. only in case she really doesnt want to see u
Me: bt my experience all these yrs tells that no girl or lady comes close to me. they stay away like i m untouchable :)
n this one is right in my dept, working wiht me, how close :P
as per the records no girl can be appointed so close to me :D
Sheetal: maybe there is something in u that makes them stay away
Me: thats ok bt why she got here with me?
dont say that there r no my type girls in whole city :)
must leave now, i ll tell u bout my strange dream tomorrow :)
Sheetal: see u
Me: see you, good night, sexy dreams
Sheetal: cu