Put Pan on Stove !!

24th August, 2009

Rati: tumhe sach me laga kya? pole dace hai? :D
me: likha to wohi tha :(
Rati: to tha na pole dance :P ??
me: main thaka hua hu aaj kal varna moti ka
Rati: :D
me: kuchh karta :P
Rati: lol
me: there's counseling running
Rati: ohk,, wait a min
brb
me: in other window kalpana is a psychologist :)
Rati: haan i have mail 4 u..u ll love it

2 minutes later

hello?
me: counseling :)
Rati: ohk :) carry on ill send it l8er

13 minutes later

me: sowie sweety
Rati: itz k yaar
me: mushkil se appointment mila tha
Rati: :) kis baat ki counseling chal rahi thi?
me: mere psychic probs. anxiety
Rati: like?
ohh
me: insecurity, fobias etc etc
Rati: ohk uske saath bhi flirting ki kya? counseling karte karte :P
me: try to ki thi, she called me behave lol
Rati: hehe
me: and "kiddo' bhi kaha lol
Rati: kya bola tha tumne iss baar?
kiddo lol :D is she really 73?
me: 12 men :D
Rati: :D
me: do u fantasze group fex ?
Rati: no never chhhiiiiii
me: so do u knw making omelette ?
Rati: yes I do
me: tasty ?
Rati: yes
me: i need cooking tuitions, i think ab bahut ho gaya do time hotel :(
Rati: hmm
me: nd m so bored with their food too
Rati: hmm.. k wat else?
me: m hungry nw :(
break time
Rati: ohk cu then
me: omlette ki recipie likhna ya mail karna
Rati: lol
me: its easy i think
Rati: recipe kaha hoti hai omlette ki? :-o
me: masale kya kya ?
Rati: are u non veg?
mai nahi daalti masala, green chillies
me: i can eat anthng edible lol
Rati: but ur gujarati, hw cn u be nv?
me: so ?
Rati: mujhe laga tha saare guj n rajasthanis are veg :D
me: :D
Rati: :P silly me
me: thts wrong
Rati: yes. i had no idea till now
me: NV is nt a big thing nw
Rati: yes i knw
me: main to veg bana lu to kaafi hai lol
Rati: :) lol
me: achha to omlette k liye kya kya shopping karni padegi ?
dont say "eggs"
Rati: lol watver thngs u like in omlette
onion tomatoes
me: namak ,mirchi
Rati: haan coriander :P oil
me: i love coriander
Rati: me too. bread butter ketchup
aaj banane wale ho kya? omlette?
me: shopping list dekh k darr lag raha hai ;( itna sub ?
Rati: jeera aur wo hota hai na kala kala..(mohri in marathi)
hmm...
me: i got it
Rati: ismese jo tumhe pasand hai wohi lao phir
me: see i want it to be tasty :P
Rati: :P thn y r u askin me? :P
me: i ve seen its easy to make
Rati: it is. u knw hw i like it
me: bt when i cook
Rati: i put only finely chopped tomatoes in it.. n salt
me: alag hi tarah ka ban jaata hai :(
Rati: thts it...
lol
i fry it in a little extra oil..for the taste
me: ok write the whole process n mail ;)
Rati: thn after its done i use a tissue
me: brb
Rati: lol ok cya

35 minutes later

me: ahha
Rati: ??
me: kabhi kabhi bhookh lagti hai :P
Rati: :)
me: subah me 3 4 cup chai with biscuit
Rati: 3-4?
me: plus one glass milk fir bhi :D
Rati: 3-4 cup tea? :-o
me: yes, milk pouch is 500 ml nd i dont hv fridge so i ve to finish anyhow lol
Rati: ohk..lol
adopt a cat then :P
me: i wish i cud bt i dont like pets
Rati: y?
me: unki safai kaun kare :(
Rati: i love dem
me: main apna dhyan rakhne kisi ko dhundh raha hu aur cat ka kya hoga lol
Rati: hmm..lol
me: i love women cats :P
Rati: hehe
me: r u on facebook ?
Rati: no
me: bad luck. wahan ek game hai, cat ko nahalana, khilana, ghumana etc
Rati: hw sweet
me: why dont u make a facebook account ? jyada time nahi lagta
Rati: ohk
me: and ek aur billi pal lo lol
Rati: lol wait call
me: mera number hai 09*********
Rati: lol 1 min
haan

5 minutes later

me: fir kisi ne plug nikala :(
Rati: lol
cute kitties realy
me: this game's addictive so beware :P
Rati: lol ok i will
me: fir omlette ki recipe bheji ?
Rati: oh sorry i ws so busy wid rosey :P
Bolo
are..recipe to batayi na :_o
me: kya kar rahi hai rosey ?
Rati: tumhari cat ka naam katie hai kya?
me: and tumne material bataya, method nahi
Rati: ohh.. look ill tell u
1. break egg into a bowl
no.. b4 tht take 10 ml water n add salt to taste then break an egg. add chopped onions tomatoes chillies coriander turmeric
me: egg ko salt wale paani me dalna hai na ?
Rati: put pan on stove
haan ekdam thoda paani
me: lol
Rati: 1/2 tespoon se bhi kam
me: stove k niche rakhne wala tha main to lol
Rati: :D
now listen. let it heat, then add oil. if u like u can add jeera n mohri. then spread the mixture n fry it. ho gaya
me: ek second
Rati: ..
me: ye jo 1 tspoon se kam paani hai
Rati: ..
me: wo pan me dalna tha ya pehle wala 10ml tha ?
Rati: pan me nahi re, wo sirf egg me mixture mei theek se namak mix hone ke liye daalna tha. in the bowl
me: ok bt aadha chammach se mix hoga ?
Rati: haan
1 egg ke liye namak daloge na?
me: i got it nw
Rati: hmm katie is ur cat?
me: i named her Katie… like katrina lol
kate blenchett
Rati: lol
me: i like kate blanchett very much, her eyes… nasheeli hai :P
Rati: lol
me: hold boss
Rati: ohk

chakam te

23rd August, 2007

me: hi,, whts chakam te?
Sofia: hmmm waiting for u in my language
but its 4 my husband :P
me: thanks
thank God there is sm1 waiting for me :)
Sofia: hmmm hope so
that s 4 my hubby
me: what? u broke my heart :(
Sofia: kaise :)
me: i thought u were waiting for me
Sofia: why u were not here all day?
me: good question
office me net bandh tha, koi kaam nahi hua
Sofia: accha, to kiya kya
me: again, intelligent question
i just compiled data collected till today

5 minutes later

Sofia: :)
good then

24th August, 2007

me: chak de india :)
Sofia: ?
me: last movie i watched, last sunday
Sofia: is it good
me: very well made.

6 means later

me: awakens ur spirits
patriotic :)
Sofia: boss on phone
me: me too. i mean mine too.
Sofia: i finished. he always calls to give me tasks
me: wht task? my task is almost over, if u dont consider Lunch as task ;)
sofia: nah that is not task
me: for me it is, i m from a third world country :D
btw the cafe pc was non-functional
so i had to shut down n leave ystrdy.
Sofia: u always leave without warning
me: sorry bt the pc was so bad, it took 5 minutes to scroll a page.
Sofia: terrible. net was like this when i was living in india
me: no, its just my bad luck, now its ok normally. its slow, bt works.
i was watching videos on orkut simultaneously, maybe multiple windows caused the problem :P
Sofia: so its ur fault
me: no, actually it should have handled that much bt couldnt.
Sofia: everything there seems slow :) and patience testing
me: m waiting to fuck for so long
Sofia: how long
me: say 12 yrs or maybe one or 2 more ;)
Sofia: m on phone
ok done

1 minute later

Sofia: so, u mean u had sex 12 years back?

About 1 hour later

Sofia: so?
me: never.
Sofia: hmmm ur about to get married right
me: maybe. its tough to marry before u've done smthng for ur country, family, society ;)
Sofia: very tough thinking
me: whenever i get chance i think bout hw it will affect my impression in society coz its India where sexual expressions are seen as crime.
Sofia: once ur married u can do it as much as u want with her
me: thats why i m deprived.
Sofia: i didnt get. what u need to look out, u will have wife. it will be easier for u, not wait n hope someone will let u for sex
me: the real problem is sex is not everything as u said one day ago.
Sofia: hmmm so u think its early for marriage right
me: ya, cant decide on basis of sex only.
Sofia: yes its true. if u feel its too early for u, then u could wait 4 sm time. but if the reason that ur not feeling ready is bcos u havent done anything 4 society etc., then what do u think ur supposed to do

9 minutes later

me: its tricky, i dont see offers of marriage that are upto my standard n so i think i have to pay my dues bfore i get my right match. got it?
Sofia: whats ur standard like :) that the offers dont meet it. miss India ? or with crorepati father? :P
me: crorepati father, pretty daughter, good idea.
Sofia: u'll never marry then be sure
me: hw can u say that? u know me that well?
Sofia: no. if u want pretty girl with very rich father
me: u mean i can get miss india or miss money, one of ‘em only?
Sofia: in indian conditions very tough
me: ok, then lets have a decent looking girl from a good family.
must have good smile.
Sofia: hmmm smile eh
me: aur nasheeli aankhen
Sofia: hihiiii
and big boobs

about 2 hours later

me: sorrrry, again. bosses were behind, so had to close.
n big boobs r the symbol of being female, who wouldn’t wish it?

Sundays ko Shut up !!!

26th July, 2008

me: good mrng :)
Mallika: morniingg..!!
me: aaj subah subah :D
Mallika: aiwei..
me: saturday college off ?
Mallika: colg hai toh..bt at 12.30
me: :P btw lost sleep at 5 am today nd was dreaming bout u :P
Mallika: abt me..?
ok
me: want details :P ? vaise roj aate hai dreams, aaj it was you :P
Mallika: nah its k
me: nt interested :( ??
Mallika: k tell
me: so i was in mumbai smhow
Mallika: leave it..
me: wait, smone came
Mallika: so..kaisa hai?
me: ok u got it :D actually there was only sex i was trying to make a story :D
Mallika: blody hell..iks..why?..nyways leave it..
me: wat ? gussa ho :( ?
Mallika: gussa nai hoon.. waise bhi its none f ma buisness..
i asked u hw r u? :)
me: its so funny :D thnks, koi to hai jo khabar puchhta hai. ab to mom bhi call nahi karti :(
m feeling good today, just one cgrt till nw. u see muje vaise hi nasha rehta hai, use utarne ke liye smoking karni padti hai :D
Mallika: new video upload kiya hai..watch it
me: boss says leave chatting n do sm wrk :D
Mallika: s/he is rite..!! :P
me: hope it was she :P i wont have to chat then :D
Mallika: ok
me: hold on
sorry kal boss nahi tha, kuchh kaam nahi kiya :D
Mallika: why guys like to say sorry ? :D
me: coz i dont like to make u wait :)
Mallika: honest ans? nah..rite?
so wht else? still its pausing :D
me: ya boss is here. bt i m so besharm :D
nd answer was honest ok :)
Mallika: ok :)
me: btw saturday ko sab thanda kyu ho jaata hai, hum bhi kya US ki system me aa gaye hai..weekend blast :P
Mallika: thanda..? wat do u mean by dat..? nw a days i prefer to go to colg on saturday
me: i ve got a feeling that i m the boss whom ppl respect on weekdays bt on saturday sunday i m so bored and lonely nd nobody will listen :(
hv u heard that slogan radio mirchi presents......sundays ko shut up :D
Mallika: mirchi nai sunti hoon..i like radio city
me: actually I change channels constantly :D there's menka on radio one, shilpa on radio city, dr. love on mirchi, prakruti on mirchi who is almost my wife :D
Mallika: ohhk
me: dont knw hw she knws my mood, its really weird bt i feel like she talks to me only
Mallika: dats sweet..
me: bt kind of crazy dream, isnt it ? i just hope its nt true :)
Mallika: nah..its gud
me: sure feels great to talk on air :P
bt nw i m quite used to like a celebrity :D
Mallika: hmm..
me: tum muje pagal samj rahi ho na :)
Mallika: nah...
me: good then, to sunday ka kya prog hai
daru sharu , talli :D
Mallika: lolz nah..ab tak toh kuch plan nai hai
me: ladki dekhne jaana hai :( ghar walo ko ek hi kaam hai
Mallika: hv u heard pichle saat dino main songs frm rock on..? its owsome :D
lolz..achha hai na..waisebhi tuze bhi toh shadi karni hai na..
me: main to radio pe bajenge tab sununga, tv kahan hai ?
Mallika: hmm.. k toh phir radio pe kaunsa gana aya hai..rock on??
me: none i think
Mallika: tv pe bhi nahi aya hai ..pichle saat dino main..i hv cd
me: ok i m nt in the habit of buying cd or cassettes. lower middle class mentality :D
Mallika: ah..ok
me: coming back to sex , do u mind ur husband having affairs :D
Mallika: husband..ya of course
me: u mean after marriage not allowed ?
Mallika: nope..
me: sad. given that nobody is perfect :D
Mallika: i kw..den i guess it depends on dat situation
me: right see if for example husband needs sex every night nd wife likes just twice in week, wht he will do :P
Mallika: damn ..dis is prob
me: hai na ? so wht s the solution ? i think every couple shud do nd check bfore tying the knot :D
Mallika: i'l say he shud learn masturbation in a gud way :P
me: lolz
Mallika: bye nw m leavin, colg hai
me: cant wife help :P
Mallika: bye dear..tk cr
me: i love u :)
kal milnege ?
Mallika: yup

Love never means tying someone...

25th July, 2008

me: hiila
Mallika: hie
me: hw r u today :)
Mallika: m gud..u saY
me: ok fine aur nayee photo dekh meri
Mallika: photo dikh nai rahi hai
me: hay raam meri kismat to footi ki footi hi rahegi :(
Mallika: yup ok
me: when u r bored u say ok, isnt it :D
Mallika: hmm..not really..
me: sheela kehti hai use boys me koi intrest nai. i tried to explain hw the male and female hormones wrk and attract to each other :P
Mallika: toh..
me: to fir gussa hoke bhaag gayee :D
Mallika: bhaag gayee....? ok
me: manje offline ho gayee :D
Mallika: hota hai..
u kw yest it ws rainin.. :D
me: lucky for u yahan to thodi boonde girke fir band :(
dhoop hi dhoop state govt is bout to declare draught :D
Mallika: chal m leavin in 5 min
me: exactly as i feared, i love u bt i do bore u
Mallika: bas ek bande ki website correct karni thi..so i came ol
me: i knw i knw, if i was interesting to chat u cud hv stayed more
Mallika: u knw?
me: ya i knw that i dont hv interseting things to talk to make u stay ol
Mallika: noh i hv class na..dats why..no bunking for comp class ;) :D
i kw bt..jus wanted to say k..reason is nt u..
me: means ?
Mallika: nothin
waise porn dekh k bore ho gayi hoon..
me: me too, go for the real thing is the only way nw :P
Mallika: naah..
me: it was for me :D n i wont advise u :)
Mallika: ok
me: dont mind bt r u a virgin :P ?
Mallika: u dnt hv ny right to ask dat.. i guess
me: :( :(
i ll tell u my status :)
Mallika: waise it doesnt matter...dis q doesnt exist..
me: why ? i object mi lord. it may be very humiliating to meet your wife's bf with whom she had slept some time :(
Mallika: bt she "had" toh kya farak padta hai?
me: vishwas ki baat hai vaise, if u r confident bout her loyalty after marriage is with u only then ok
Mallika: bt ya ok hai..u shud know everythin abt ur wife..bt only abt wife..
so
me: who other than wife u mean ?
Mallika: nothin
me: honestly i ll want her to have only one man in her life and forget all before marriage. never tell me about it, i ll be happy. not knowing is good
Mallika: i mean den wats d use in askin ur net frnd abt her virginity...does it make ny sense?
me: i m studying various chat frnds regarding their age, study, mental status, social status, experience with various phenomena, thats why :D
Mallika: watever..
me: if u r virgin ur responses will be recorded in memory
Mallika: k nw b'bye..
me: ruk jao na
Mallika: tk cr lov u
me: sorry for that question. u can hav affairs as much u like ok :)
love never means tying smone

There's something about tea !

22nd August, 2007

me: ok i'll call first…hi
Sofia: what
me: good morng
Sofia: hi
me: where r ur forwards>
Sofia: missing them or relieved that there r no :)
i've got but havent sent yet
me: missing…send now.
so u think i should select sm1 with good smile,
Sofia: sorry dad called
hansmukh
me: why?
Sofia: bcos it will be easier to interact with her n this u going to do whole life
me: reply soon, lunch time.

52 minutes later

me: no time to read fwd, heavy pressure.
what happened? ur dad told u not to talk to me?
Sofia: no, im having net probs
either i m sending messages n ppl dont get or i dont get what they say
u want forwards but then dont read them :)
me: just told to stay whole night.
Sofia: im going to eat
me: njoy ur luch then

58 minutes later

me: hw's lunch?
Sofia: good. Mcdonalds. its tea-time 4 me too
me: item? alone or in group?
Sofia: what item
me: burger etc. u know here they serve only burgers
Sofia: well probably they serve other things too
me: n did u eat alone?
Sofia: i ate salad, toast and wedgies. cant finish the wedgies, i bought them n ate here in office. colleagues r in holiday, no one to eat with
me: akele nahi khana chahiye. ;)
ppl call so in india
Sofia: if there is no one, should i not eat at all?
me: joking. coz i m always alone. today skipped lunch. only bhajiyas. now bout to go for tea.
Sofia: im having mine in front of the pc
me: lucky u. bt its good to get rid of pc n go out for tea or coffee
Sofia: right
me: n my eyes r already strained. i ve been checking, downloading mails constantly today
Sofia: ok ok :)
me: m not complaining
so what dad said? if u like to say :)
Sofia: asked the email id of my friend as he is making presentation materials for her mother's project for building temple
me: temple? is he indian?
Sofia: plz wait im on phone
me: these bloody calls :(

52 minutes later

me: hi m bak :)
Sofia: had tea?
me: yes. tea is related to girls here.
Sofia: how
me: like when u go to meet a girl for marriage, she gives u tea, there's something bout tea that i dont know ;)
Sofia: that is not right as tea is giving on every occasion usually a few times a day
me: thats true bt there r implied meanings sometimes.
Sofia: hmmm
me: n what's this boob bout? there's a colleague behind n i opened ;)
Sofia: happens. the pic's name is first signs of gay cos the baby is making face as if doesnt like it
me: maybe her milk doesnt taste good :)
kahan gayee?
Sofia: phone. it cant be that it doesnt taste good
me: ya, bt maybe he tasted sm1 else ;)
Sofia: they must be same
me: what do u mean?
Sofia: what do U mean
me: u mean all breast milk taste EXACTLY the same?
Sofia: well no but almost
me: n what bout the smell of the lady?
Sofia: never tried many milks. smells r very different
me: i see from that child's view point :)
Sofia: ur able too easily to see from its point of view, isnt it little alarming........
need to go to the bank
me: hw? dint get u
Sofia: u see from its point of view very easily

39 minutes later

Sofia: im back

20 minutes later

me: so where were we?
Sofia: on phone
me: these bloody phones, i'll break ‘em all one day.

32 minutes later

me: hi, phone chalu hai?
Sofia: ji nahi
me: to kya har baar muze hi initiate karna hai :)
Sofia: ji nahi :)
me: want to hear only ?
Sofia: phone
me: a joke..
Blonde: I think my tits are full of water.
Doctor: How do u figure that?
Blonde: Every time a guy squeezes them my pussy gets wet
Sofia: :)

as she didn't reply for few minutes...

me: it happens every day, all the pretty ladies go on phone.

7 minutes later

Sofia: yeah it was phone again. i needed to look for a document for long time
i hurt my finger :( cut it on one folder
me: ooh no..hw? is it paining?
Sofia: the paper folders have these 2 metal pieces to hold the paper
me: have medicine? or smthng to relieve pain?
Sofia: its not that bad
me: must stop bleeding first
Sofia: just a cut with little blood :)
me: n u wrote u CUT ur finger :(
Sofia: thats how its called! i cut my finger. it doesnt mean i cut it off :(
i accidentally inflicted a cut on it, if u prefer this way
me: ok. happens every day with me when i shave. still learning it after sm 10 yrs :D
Sofia: shabash :) u learn really fast. i dont hurt myself at work, usually at home. esp. when cooking
i just found out there is wine at work

3 minutes later

Sofia: do i need to initiate now