if vodka ws water...

19th September, 2008

Shilpa: heyo...ssup dude?
me: just a minute
Shilpa: k hai
me: so kya kar rahi thi pura din ?
Shilpa: why...u miss me :D
me: u knw it :)
Shilpa: was in college..its raining whole day..
me: here too.. today its taken break btw
Shilpa: :D
me: m going to out for 6 weeks :(
Shilpa: yeh u told me.. so hw ws ur day..i'm v happy today..
me: did u hv sex ?
Shilpa: whole day raining..papers bhi achhe the aaj k..cantine main bhi bahot maja aya..
oye :
nai..
nd nw m feeling cold...i lov dis atmosphere..
me: cold :P
Shilpa: pata nai log bimar kyun pad jate hai :
me: wht ? kaun bimaaar pada ?
Shilpa: some f ma frnds
me: bheegne par risk rehta hai
Shilpa: main toh din main 2 bar bhig chuki hoon..
me: hw sexy..missed it. photo khincke laga na :P
ye kya likha hai pic me? nthng 's readable :D
Shilpa: hehe..par main tranperant top nai pahanti.. :P
me: no prob u knw all's same under top. koi bhi model dekh lo :D
wht matters is face :)
Shilpa: If vodka ws a water nd..i was a duck..i'd swim to the bottom..nd never come up..bt vodka's nt a water nd m nt a duck..so slide me a bottle and shut d fuck up.. :D
me: r u drunk sweetie :P
Shilpa: nah..nt nw
me: sry..so u wrote the pic's msg :D
u love vodka ?
Shilpa: yup.. :D
me: talli gf i got :P hw exciting :P exams on?
Shilpa: lolz..m nt ur galfrnd
yup..
me: still chatting on :)
Shilpa: kal english ka paper hai :D
me: english, stop kidding..engg me english ????
btw i got a confession today. plz forgive me
Shilpa: yup..bsc 2nd yr..ek lang. paper hota hai..
me: so its bsc not BE or BTech :)
Shilpa: yup..as i told u
me: so i was telling bout confession
Shilpa: tello
me: lol really u r in rocking mood :P
Shilpa: yeah baby.. k u continue..
me: so when i tell u I love u i mean it. sure i meant it by heart :) bt about marriage i lied. i cant decide that easily :)
Shilpa: hmmm...
me: hope u wont mind the flirting :P
Shilpa: sometimes yes..
me: i prefer fair girl with good height, honestly
means? u mind?
Shilpa: ok :) sometimes..
me: tell me if u r hurt. i say whtever comes to mind while flirting :D
Shilpa: k
me: hw much u drank today :P
Shilpa: kuch bhi nahi..
me: sachhi ?
Shilpa: yes
me: then it must be last night :P
right ?
Shilpa: kal bhi nai
me: ok fine so m judging it wrong then. i felt like you r high today :D
Shilpa: hehe..nd why is dat..
me: by sm of ur talk and sm of my instincts..
I ll be very lonely in m.p. phone no. dogi?
Shilpa: noh.. :
me: this stratingt face makes me real tense :(
dont knw wht to say :D u said no for phn ?
Shilpa: yesh..
me: u r drunk i tell u babay..u never make spelling mistake like in yesh :D
Shilpa: nah..told u m in gud mood today..i talk lyk dis..
me: think u hv practiced chatting a lot..developed ur language really well, isnt it :)
Shilpa: wat lang. ? :D
me: see ur msgs are very systematic, same spellings same shrot forms like dat, sry u use ..
Shilpa: nd?
me: maybe the timing of replying, teasing boys :P
Shilpa: main kaha tease karti hoon :(
me: its nt that teasing is bad :D
Shilpa: nah na teasing z nt gud :P
me: then u wont look u r age ...18 :P
Shilpa: :
me: i want to marry you :)
Shilpa: i kw :P
me: i mean seriously :D ok i love you :)
Shilpa: i know :P
me: its good to hv wife 10 yrs younger, u can hv sex even when u r 50 :P
hey u never say bout ur parents and siblings ??
Shilpa: really? ohhk..
me: what bout second question ??
Shilpa: wht abt dat..i think i do.talk
me: no never. i dont knw anythng
Shilpa: hmm..ok
me: tello :D
Shilpa: hmm..u kw i've elder sis..rite?
me: elder? ok i knw one sis
Shilpa: i remember..bataya tha..sab..
see u dnt remember.. ma talks :(( :
me: no sweetheart, u only told bout one sister. elder i doubt. nd whta bout mom dad ?
nthng i m sure :)
hw's my status :P
Shilpa: hmm..wat abt dem..k i remem..u asked me questions lyk..wat de do...ur mama'z gal or papa'z gal..
me: thts fine. i mean practically wat they do etc :)
Shilpa: status..yeh..gud
me: one more proof of rock on based on my life :P
Shilpa: owsome song na..
me: too good. its so soothing. the best of album
Shilpa: bt movie main match nai hota hai..wrong timing
me: think the affair btwn them is missing. it shud be placed when they were nt married nd having affair
Shilpa: hmm..
me: bt screenplay didnt hv it :P so wat we were discussing originally :D
Shilpa: dat u lov me :P
lolz..
me: as u please. guess u dont like to talk ur family :)
just like me :D
Shilpa: yea.. wait kariyo..
me: hv to leave early. u knw the looong journey tomorrow :(
gotta pack nd all that
Shilpa: ohh..k so u leaving nw?
me: i ve done almost no preparations, i ll be there for 6 weeks, cant come back till nov 1
Shilpa: ooho..prob nai..u cn leave wenever u wnt
me: i so hate to leave u. vaise kuchh karna nahi hai just verify karna hai, kuchh bhool to nahi raha le jaane ka :D
Shilpa: itsh v cold here..pata nai sweater kaha rakh diya..wait
me: sweater? must be cold. i m taking my sweater nd nw i think denim ki jacket bhi :P
actually i live alone as u knw to mere sarkari flat me sirf kapde aur thode bartan hai so what i ll do is just scan whole the flat. i dont thnk i can miss anythng frm inside the flat :)
plus ill take my ATM and credit cards. tht solves almost all probs :P
Shilpa: ha aur bata..kar li sab packing shacking..?
me: karna kya hai, jitne kapde hai sab lekar bag me dalunga aru stationki aur :D
Shilpa: aur thik se rahiyo..training bhi thik se kariyo..:D
me: hw far is pune frm there?
Shilpa: waise kaisi traning hai yeh
me: can i come to meet :P
Shilpa: jabalpur kaha hai?
me: think its on eastern end of madhya pradesh, close to khajuraho :P
Shilpa: nah pune z far..frm mp :P
me: if its less thn 500 km, i can try :)
i ll hv holiday on sunday
Shilpa: hmm...
me: its amost 1000 km frm here. just kidding. u think i ve got guts to meet you :D ??
Shilpa: hmm..dunno.. :P
me: thts tough to go and meet a chat frnd :)
Shilpa: yeah..it z
me: think i wont get pc there, lectures honge, so i ll be online only in the evening
Shilpa: lectures :D
me: btw hw old is ur sis? she has orkut account ?
bol na..
ok see ya tomorrow, bbye kehna hai to kal 3 baje se pehle online aana :)
good night
Shilpa: shez 21
me: sexy like you ? link dogi :P
Shilpa: link kya karni hai..
me: to invite :)
Shilpa: unknowns ko add nai karti hai.. :
me: let me try.
bt u do :P
Shilpa: its f no use
me: why? she’s married ?
Shilpa: yup..i do..
nah..
me: then she's a better candidate. u r very small :P
looks me ? worse or better then u ?
Shilpa: hehe..why ur askin abt her :
me: shudnt i ?
Shilpa: noh :
me: k fine. u look quite mysterious thts wy. if i knw more things n ppl around u, it will give a better picture..plus mayb i get another gf :D
Shilpa: another? ;)
i'm nt ur galfrnd : : :
me: why u keep hurting me? bachhe ko khush karne ko jhooth nahi bol sakti ?
u r a girl and orkut frnd tht makes u my gf :)
Shilpa: bad logic :
bachha :P
me: hey i got one offer i must tell u. a person frm office told me to send a girl...say prostitute to my flat at night :P
wht u say? good idea? or pathetic :D
ok i crossed limits ...showie showie.. see ya tomorrow hope fully.
sweet dreams hv vodka till u get high :P
dream bout good things, nt me :D
Shilpa: u decide..ur 28
me: thts cool
Shilpa: u dnt need to ask dis to anyone..
me: bt the makes it really tough :( responsibility steals all the fun
Shilpa: bt yeh u crossed limits :(
me: cant ask to mom bout this na :)
Shilpa: hmm...
me: will u marry me after that is what my purpose was :P
or i ll get black listed :(
Shilpa: see waise bhi u kw m nt going to marry u..so i dnt really hv to ans dis... :)
me: i mean will u marry a guy with such habits ? or such reputation ?
Shilpa: hmm..i'm going to do arrange marriage..so...noh..i wont
me: sure? arranged?
Shilpa: yeah
me: guess if u dont find smone suitable like me? then? i mean like i m nt able to find the arranged way
Shilpa: nah..strictly...m gonna marry ma moms choice..
me: anywy its really late. i planned to leave at 5 30 today bt i cant leave u so :)
bbye :)
Shilpa: k sweetie
me: baby nahi kahogi :D
Shilpa: hehe k..tk cr ma sweet little baby..
me: kya jamana aa gaya hai 18 saal ki umar me 28 saal ka bachha lol
Shilpa: :P dnt tk it literally.. its jus dat dat word sounds gud
gaya kya?
allah hafiz..kal ol rahiyo..

men and their amazing abilities

So again it is time to change Sofia's name. Its been about 6 months of chatting so i must had got a very good picture of hers. She'll be called Chitra from now on!!

22nd January, 2008

me: good morning.
Chitra: same to u
me: got my msgs last night?
Chitra: well yes that ur net is like wife
me: n bout the curves :P
didnt get?
Chitra: wait im on phone
me: forever for u

9 minutes later

Chitra: ok. long talk
me: wasnt long by my standard :)
Chitra: well…over 10 mins is long for me...
me: u know indian shares fell massively today n ystdy ? i m buying with whatever money is with me coz everything's sooo cheap :P
Chitra: well ok.. u have right to be childish. so far ur on ur own but when u have wife, kids, u will have to change ur behavior n become responsible.
me: till then, let me enjoy :P
Chitra: ..........

9 minutes later

me: sorry sorry i ve to buy
Chitra: what
me: shares. n what bout venera??
Chitra: what about her? i dont know her. she is just part of the italy group in orkut n i must have seen her profile which made her see mine and she wrote comments. if u mean this.

5 minutes later

me: she'll be chatting with me soon, I invited her :P
so u dont know her much.
Chitra: oho.. no i dont know her at all but judging by her comments on the topics in the italy group she seems very nice
me: she asked for skype n then
Chitra: i see
me: gave me gmail id as i dint know skype :) u know i asked her for psychological help :D
Chitra: like what
me: read in her scrap book, i said my mind is very distorted, i need psychiatrist. thats a fact actually
Chitra: :))
me: means ?
Chitra: everyone needs
me: not all r Paagal like me :D
Chitra: there is one guy who calls me pagal all the time
me: unbelivable, who? u r very sane i think.
Chitra: :) he is one of my suitors. maybe he calls me so bcos i keep repeating to him he looks damn good n i keep staring at his face when he has webcam. but im not sure if this is it
me: n what is it if this is not ?
Chitra: well i dont know why he would call me pagal, but he does very often
me: whoever loves sm1 an d declares it is Pagal, I learnt this from experience :)
Chitra: no its not so. when u love someone it is very natural to declare it, of course there are other conditions one has to see but usually it is the totally normal thing to do. the person is not pagal and actually pagalpan is subjective, if we r not talking about the real medical disease
me: yeah, smtimes when u do smthng that majority of people consider not ok or not profitable rather, u r Paagal :)
6 minutes later

Chitra: gtg to eat
me: k i love u
Chitra: really
me: i ll have tea..
ya,really, practically, theoretically
n yes psychologically too :D
Chitra: psychologically.. interesting. dont know whats that anyway :)
me: im considered insane n u r opposite, so.
Chitra: :)
me: love ur smile too.
Chitra: :))
me: what bout that Paagalpan then :D
oh yes i m changing my dept. news for u. i ll hv to go for tea ( n maybe cigarette)
hv ur lunch :)
r u pregnant ?
Chitra: no im not yet i think

Half an hour later

me: have u been fasting last week ??????
Chitra: why
me: coz u took time to eat.
i might be transferred shortly
Chitra: :D
me: dont know hw much chat will be possible then.
Chitra: ok this fast. alright
me: i guess he wants to stay with her :P
Chitra: well u got to fight for ur right, to stay with her :)
maybe she will be more friendly to him :D
me: she is, seemingly. i dont care. i dont want to stay here.
heloooooooo
Chitra: yeah
me: maybe he wants me away from the curvy lady, thats also a possibility :)
Chitra: who is the curvy lady
me: who else r we talking bout??
Chitra: is she having big curves
me: yeah, quite good.
Chitra: wow
me: slim, good back.
Chitra: what clothes is she wearing
me: bt no boobs
Chitra: does she wear
me: not upto the mark :(
Chitra: :) if she wears shalwar kameez that u cant much judge figure...
me: i dont like her attitude
Chitra: then
me: i can,coz they r made to fit properly :P
Chitra: men..they have amazing abilities. i'll be back in 10 mins
me: still i ve no exact idea of chest, bt i guess its not so attractive.

13 minutes later

me: i ve to leave now. see u tomorrow
Chitra: ok see u

Her View of Herself

21st January, 2008

me: why red signal ???? ruth gayee ho :P
Chitra: dont forget i chat not only to u. if i put something its not personal.
actually i was having some work. office mail was nt working so was using my personal.
me: u r so sincere :D i hope only i was so devoted to duty :)
Chitra: what
me: so did u get my msgs ??? this was the first weekend with cigarettes all day !
Chitra: i got them. i havent been online at all.
so why were u smoking all the time
me: its like a chain reaction, due to effect of smoking, i feel like sooo bored, then to have a high i smoke, it causes more boredom.. kuchh karne ko mann nahi karta
Chitra: yes it is chain reaction. its like a magic circle, u fall once n it is very difficult to go out.
me: help me, suggest smthng.
Chitra: quit smoking :)
me: great, never bfore saw such a solution. to the point.
Chitra: its simple...ur not so addicted yet i suppose so it wont be that hard
me: i know, only thing I need is an alternative activity.

5 minutes later

Chitra: eat fruits or chocolate any time u feel like smoking. ur not faced with fat problem so chocolate could work for u and it gives the boost and mood.
me: i keep chocolate biscuits n use it. bt u know the benefit of smoking? that s to be considered too :)
Chitra: what is it
me: lessens sex drive, to which it has given solution :)
hi soni !
Chitra: sorry gtg to eat.. see u later
me: dont go.

6 minutes later

me: as usual,when it comes to sex, people run away from me :P

38 minutes later

me: welcome bak :)
Chitra: thx
me: so comments ? on my reply ?
Chitra: what reply? i only got - dont go
me: bt u did go. i asked bout the sex thing .
Chitra: ah that.. i dont know
me: i take 7 to 10 a day, already feeling tired all day.
Chitra: well stop it what is ur problem
me: girls :P

7 minutes later

me: basically this is the problem.

8 minutes later

Chitra: i've said it many times, what is the solution from my point of view. get married i mean or another option, find gf
me: till then?
Chitra: from what i know n heard from my friend, indian girls r more dirty-minded n naughty than our girls here, so its not such prob.
me: dirty :P really???
Chitra: yes. he was saying even when he was 15-16 it was full of girls in his village who were ready to have sex. his colleagues, friends, many were having sex regularly with diff people just for the fun.
that b4 marriage.
among the students in his college.
Everywhere.
me: what the hell is this? m i the only one who's not getting it?
kitna anyaay hai? i m waiting since 10 yrs.. all r having it :(
Chitra: i dont know
me: sex just for the fun :D i d love it so much :P
Chitra: u got to be friendly, nice and appeal to the girls which is not so hard.
me: bt what bout that just for fun? it must b without relations n all that. spontaneous.
why hasnt it happend to me?
Chitra: i dont know. maybe ur not the type who inspire this desire in a girl.
me: leave girls, what bout women?
Chitra: its same :)
girls, women, what is the difference
me: women r sexier, dont have fear of sex :P
Chitra: what makes girl a woman
me: i guess we call virgin as girl n others as women. bt smtimes sm r more women sm remain girl life time.
by attitude i mean.
Chitra: oh
me: m i wrong? u explain. generally i go by instinct to judge.
Chitra: i dont know.. im not expert in this topic
me: u r woman,na?
Chitra: no, my view of me is of a girl
me: ohh why do women r sexually more attractive than girls?
achha to tumhara Bal Vivaah hua hai :D
Chitra: come on, it depends.. its very subjective
me: bt my experience is girls dont inspire sex as much as women.
Chitra: in ur opinion girl is something n in mine another.. thats y im saying subjective

6 minutes later

me: so gayyeee? surfing orkut i guess :)
Chitra: no. writing some documents..
me: she told me shut up :(
Chitra: ru nasty with her
me: she didnt replly so I said r u sleeping? then i said “were u dreaming bout me” ?
Chitra: yup u were nasty
me: why? she likes flirts.
Chitra: really
me: read in orkut. i dint talk bout nipple this time :P still she got hot.
me: u know venera?
so gayee kya?
dreamin bout me???gotta leave sm1 is waiting. see u tomrrow good night sweet dreams.. i wish aapke Pati aaj snorr nahi kare :D

veeery thick one...

15th January, 2008

me: good mrng :)
Saloni: same to u
me: sorry, call for tea :)
Saloni: okies :)
me: i love u.

about an hour later

me: hello saloni :)
on break ?
Saloni: about to leave..im waiting for my student
me: :( i hate him.
Saloni: come on

8 minutes later

me: gone??
ok, then. talk u in dreams today :)

16th January, 2008

me: i love u
Saloni: what is the revelation
me: what?
Saloni: the love one
me: thats true :) its platonic.
Saloni: oh so u love me
me: u need not marry every time u love !
Saloni: right
me: u seem perfect to me. so do u love me?
Saloni: no i don’t. do u think u even know what is love
me: i mean i like u very much as a friend, rather girl friend. i have none.
Saloni: im going to the bank to have a fight, wish me good luck, got to prepare mentaly for arguing
see u after an hour, hope everything is successful
me: what now? anyghing wrong????
why went offline?

About 1 hour later

Saloni: im back

10 minutes later

me: so did u hit at bank :D
Saloni: they surrendered without fighting. it was really fast.
me: see the effect of my wish :)
Saloni: right :)
me: when u told u were going to bank, i didnt get those lines. got it later
Saloni: i see…bcos of net
me: coz of jealous ppl i think.
Saloni: how come
me: its usual, i approach any girl n things go weird :)
Saloni: yeah i can understand
me: i know u do :D
Saloni: it happens to me when i want something very much, all kind of obstacles appear
me: exactlly. so now i dont want nything.
Saloni: right, this is the way
me: is that ur home in mail?
Saloni: there r views from the balconies only, not my home. n thats in my parents' place. my dad took the photos.
me: we started missing winter already, heat is on the way
Saloni: u got to go to some hill place
me: ya, i dont need tea bt my eyes r strained so see u in 15 min.
dont go to ur student :(
Saloni: he will come tomorrow

47 minutes later

me: i'd feel so good if u initiated.
Saloni: i was out to buy apples
me: good. i dont like apples. read my mails?
Saloni: me too usually but i eat now n then cos good for health and i get tired of bananas and santra
me: they re better.
Saloni: they r, but u cant eat always there must be variety
me: variety :P
Saloni: in some things, not all
me: ur mind is so dirty :)
Saloni: yes it is or maybe i just can read others' minds and speak accordingly
me: i think u should remove marriage pics from orkut now !
Saloni: what happened
me: nothing, its been bout 2 months. update it,
Saloni: :D
me: dont laugh at me.
Saloni: i will look up at the sky and laugh
me: i like ur smile. keep it up. u stay updated bout india !
Saloni: what does this mean
me: nothing, i said coz u sent that nano thing today :)
one news i got results of mba entrance test last week
Saloni: right and
me: i got 0 percentage in quantitative.
Saloni: but that is very less. why 0
me: i answered just 6 questions out of 25
Saloni: why
me: got 3 right 3 wrong.
Saloni: they were so difficult
me: so 0. bt 10 per cent students were below that
Saloni: that is not a consolation. 99% of people give less results than me on tests
me: ya bt in DI 61 per cent were below my score
Saloni: thats more like it. so anyway u didnt get admission?
me: guess bout english.. i got 80 percentile.
Saloni: u speak good english
me: bt the exam was too tough
Saloni: :)

5 minutes later

me: i never thought to get admission coz its full time course n i cant leave job !
Saloni: then why did u do tests at all?
and think about online or distant education
me: i cant concentrate on study myself so i have to go for coaching. no correspondence.
Saloni: ok just keep in mind u have to progress in life
me: ya, i want all round progress.
Saloni: yeah but better some then none
me: thats to decide. wat to leave what to catch :P
ystrdy mom told me to go for my engagement !
Saloni: and
me: i denied as usual :) she's no charm like u
Saloni: noone is like me so its useless to wait
me: ya, u r the best :D
i said i ll marry or do this job so i think they wont force now :)
Saloni: if ur not in a hurry...
me: i m in hurry bt cant compromise. men r always in hurry to have sex bt when they get it, its totally different :)
Saloni: well...i dont know what to say :)
me: say na.
Saloni: but what
me: ok thats why i cant marry a miss world also for now :)
i asked for reaction if any.
Saloni: miss world...
me: ya, its tough to marry any one.
do u get my sms or not?
Saloni: i got one while i was out
me: thats good.
Saloni: u have to be mr world to get a miss world. but thats another topic
me: no need. beauty is related to women not to men :)
Saloni: oh yes it is related to men too
me: they're diff
Saloni: esp if u want to get a miss world. not to have beauty u should have thick wallet, a veeery thick one.
me: i ll manage with miss area or miss city also.
thats true.
Saloni: for this also, a wallet is needed.
me: then forget it. i ll never get that. i ll settle for seedhi saadi pati vrata bhartiya naari like u.
should i say yes to her then?
Saloni: like me!!
didnt know.
i dont know, its up to u to decide
me: u r so devoted to husband unlike other foreigners :D
so leaving time, cu later.
Saloni: first im little different from others here, second italy is not so western, its in the middle between india n west, and third i have lived in india
me: sweet dreams
Saloni: see u

how to win friends and influence people..

19th September, 2009

me: hii
ati: hii sorry about yesterday
me: why
Rati: aisehi
me: chali gayi thi isliye ?
Rati: if i wer in ur place mujhe bhi aisa hi lagta.
nahi yaar, nw who’s acting dumb?? shaadi k bare me bol rahi hu
me: to main fir lunch ke liye chala gaya
Rati: kk fine
me: ok. kya shaadi ka ?
Rati: arre watevr u said "agar tumhare sath aisa hota to pata chalta"
i thought ovr it
der?
hellloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
me: hold on
Rati: k
me: rite. it’s a tough decision

6 minutes later

Rati: hey
me: gotta go ?
Rati: u seriously dun hav any real frnz?
me: no. not at all
Rati: no yaar.. mere jaane ki raah dekh rahe ho kya? :P
me: not a single :(
Rati: Q?
me: nai to
Rati: but y?
me: aaj to stock market band hai. free hu.
Rati: arre lekin tumhe aaj tak koi frnz nahi the?
me: i dunno hw to make frnds and influence ppl
Rati: aisa kaise?
me: jab time tha banane ka tab try nahi kiya
Rati: par kuch to reason hoga na iske behind
me: ab wife ne take over kar liya. kehti hai pehle shaadi baaki sab baad me :(
Rati: hmm.. lekin whn u wer in school? tab bhi nai?
batao na
me: wohi to kaha na maine
Rati: ok..
me: nahi kar paya smhow :(
aur ab to identity is priority. uske bina koi dosti kare kyu ?
Rati: hmm..
me: wt u say? u go out and meet ppl. first they want to ask u who u r and wht do u do, whr do u live :D
Rati: to bata dete na, usme kya prob hai?
me: i dnt knw the answers :D
Rati: :) hey
me: actually i knw bt they r wrong :D
i ll be bak in half hour
Rati: ok cya

22nd September, 2009

me: us din prakruti ne tumhe bataya tha “go to yahoo paresh is waiting”
aur ab jaake puchh rahi ho lol
rati: nahi.. wo nahi.. lekin tum dono ki baat karne ki style kaafi similar hai...
m 99.99% positive it cud b u... u can share it wid me.. m ur frnd.. kisi ko nahi bataungi.. but plz dont lie to me... m serious.